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Receive e-mail updates from Reface. One comment. No comment. We're not affiliated with Facebook, Inc. They're cool! Ketamine — Just say nay How do deaf people know if someone is screaming or yawning? Why does everyone think my Dads are gay? I just ended a long-term relationship today.

Well some of these are really funny , Others just stupid! Dinosaurs were lies, fed to us to cover up the existence of Pokemon. Your mom… bitch quit reading status and go make me a damn sandwich!

Really good website haha pissed myself just reading them!! Its funny guys remember your bra size but not your birthdate.. This comment is hacked, you can like it as many times as you like :. Ahaha dont u just live how my name and my comment coincide? OH WOW!! Men marry becoz they are tired, women becoz they are curious;n both are disappointed; lolx;. Haha , wow , half of it really make sense!

The other half ….. No offense to blondes! Oh im sorry im not perfect for you but did you ever realize that your full of flaws too?? Thats a stupid thing to say to a girl and to some girls it really offends them. This is so great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wont be impressed with science until i can download a zinger burger…:-p.

Is it just me, or is the ice cream machine at McDonalds always broken.. The comments are funnier than the statuses! Bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to single. Definition of drowning is suffocating in water, so ye fish cant drown douche bag!! Q: What do you do for a living?

Insert coin here: [] to view status. Is that what happened to you or did your mama forget to swallow. Neither should ugly people get sex — they produce ugly kids! Food for thought: The worst fight with a fly, is in a public restroom…Move!!! The best part is……..

The bit about a skirt and skin to skin. Suffocation is not being able to breathe. Drowning is suffocation due to water or other fluid.

Haha that was kind of funny. Roses are red violets are black, girl your chest is as flat as you back. Relationships are like fat people most of them dont work out.

That may be but only in heavan, those gals never leave you. Please diposit 25 cents to view my status :. I can;t believe i used to like that guy. When life gives you AIDS, make lemon-aids. Now a tanned Ginger is a different story….

Take life as it comes in your face and runs down your chin. Phttt; love this one. You can steal my status updates if you like, but I lick every single one before I post them.

Is so cool that the Aztec predicted his birth. Violence is not the answer, it is the question and the answer is yes. Just deleted friends… if you are reading this congrats my friend. When life gives you lemons…add tequila! If it wasnt for X i never would have cheated on my gf….

WHen life gives you lemons, eat them, and then make sour faces at life. I wish you could be a status, so i could like you. I eat 1 skin, u eat 2 skin, i eat 3 skin,… what do u eat? I was on MSN and went to like my friends update….. This is getting obsessive…. You coud do.. No, it means half of that one person eats it. Well i going to bed….. Dicks still up. I wonder what will happen if Steve Jobs dies…. She is like Your make-up looks so pretty: lol jk it looks like a crayola raped your face!!!

X is as bored as a midget in a theme park. Tail, I watch a movie. Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. And I want to put the stick IN your ass. X just got a ticket for driver inattention.

If u do ur not using it right…. I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet. They go to school, then shower in the bed and sleep in the stall. That charlie sheen joke is totally mine back off. Hahaha He is probably from england. Football is soccer over there. Sometimes i fill up my blow up doll with helium so its playing hard to get. Thats so not true.

Yup, we totally copied you when kicking your ass in the war. This country is due for another civil war …Nascar Fans are out of control. Leave Justin Bieber alone! Wow guys for real??? Dear Mathematics, please grow and learn to solve your own problems and not to depend on others. Getta Lyfeeeee! That is so offensive to the Lezbians!!! Lifes A bitch because if it was a slut it would be easy ;. I LOVE how you just low key called him a girl in your excuse lmfao!

Roses are red Violets are blue u are my chicken wing to my bread basket 2. Sometimes I wish the world was flat so the idiot really could fall off the edge of the Earth. No one copied anything, they just changed the name when it was published in America, and Canada. What country do they call him wally in? If Practice makes perfect, then my parents must have practiced a lot before they made me.

PMSL love it haha I see a bloke the other day with wooden legs!!!!! This is too much funnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyy. What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? I was on farmville once then immigration came a took all of my workers! The Zodiacs only changed for people born after …. Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug. I love how u have nothing else to do but call someone u dont even know bitch. If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a 4th sense?

Hey, be nice. I wanna kill the sexiest person alive, but suicide is a crime. Just like the old spice commercial hilarious!!!!!! What do u call a girl in bed Answer: Laid! Whats the difference between Justin Bieber And a Snickers bar? A snIckers bar has nuts.

OMG-I wish it were christmas right now so i could use thata one,Pmsl,x. Shame ya cant just SLAP it!!! HELP someone hacked me facebook and typed this!!! Forget sluts and love boomerangs. They come back! Practice makes perfect.

Sorry my mom told me not to put small things into my mouth. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet. If lost in the woods, build a shelter. The tax man will be there shortly. If the fate of the world ever rests on knowing 80s music lyrics, call me. We lost our culture around the time we stopped smoking Marlboro Reds and started vaping strawberry cheesecake.

I drive more safely when there's food in the passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

In modern politics, even the leader of the free world needs help from the sultan of Facebookistan. Delete me, Poke me, Like me, Limit me … The choice is yours … Welcome to Facebook, where no one is really your friend.

Explore More : Funny Status Messages. Facebook is kind of like a prison. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. I did the math. Seems I died in Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell? Quitting Facebook is the new adult version of running away from home.

I love being married.